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Memories aren't the only strange things happening with me.

When you're a kid, you dream of scary things--monsters coming out of the closet, dinosaurs chasing you, your parents abandoning you--but your parents tell you they're just dreams, and after a while, you realize that, and then that particular dream doesn't scare you as much any more. You even joke about them with other kids--trying to one-up each other with who had the weirdest and creepiest. "I dreamed my house was eating me alive!" "Yeah, well, I dreamed I was turning into a bug!" And that's all. Even when you're an adult, it doesn't take long for nightmares to become unimportant.

I never had any nightmares. Not a lot of dreams, either. Just vague, blurry things that faded from my mind in minutes. But now, I dream almost every night. I dream when I take a nap. I dream when I'm not taking a nap, when I'm doing the dishes at home or waiting for customers at work. I just black out for a few minutes, and when I wake up, I'm still doing what I was doing; maybe I'm doing it a little slower, but I didn't faint or anything. If you're sleepwalking, you have to actually be asleep first, right? And I never sleepwalked as a kid, either. Can it really manifest that late?

That's not what scares me, though. What scares me is what the dreams are--big, impossible things, places and people completely unrecognizable, colors I've never seen, things I'm not sure I can even comprehend, and all of it feels so, so far away, so far I know I can't comprehend it. But I can tell this much: all those strange, foreign buildings make up a city. The people live there, I think--or maybe some of them don't; some of the people look different from the others, like they're not the same...species, I guess. But they're all people. And everything seems sort of familiar, at least while I'm there; when I wake up, where I am feels unfamiliar for a few minutes. It's hard to describe. A lot of things about the dreams are hard to describe.

There's nobody who can tell me that these are just dreams. It's been weeks, and I still can't shake them off and believe they're unimportant. And every time I have one, it gets a little clearer, a little more like I belong there--

And I'm starting to think I do.

I just wish I could talk to someone about them...

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Hope Hodgson

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